Embrace my diabolical vision

2012-02-26T18:47:00.000+08:00

2012-02-25T22:34:00.000+08:00

Yes , I'm starting to miss him , as in really bad . I want him so much but at the same time I want him to know that I can live without him . I used to be such an independent person , and still am .

He will never understand how it feels like , and he never will . There's no point of trying to convince him and defend yourself , you can never win thus protect your pride . Talking about pride once again - I'm all about pride . I may forgive but never forget . I will never look at you the same way again . I'm not blaming anyone , I'm just disappointed after what had happened since I know that I didn't do anything wrong , I'm not the one to blame .

Beg me to be yours once again if you truly want me back .

2012-02-25T00:25:00.000+08:00

I already predicted these kind of things will happen whether I like it or not . Guess we are not meant to be together in the end . What a waste . And I thought that he's the one . I need to keep searching then .

2012-02-24T23:51:00.004+08:00

Alhamdulillah everything went well even though I really had a hard time during this entire week - 3 subject project presentations in a day which are Visual Programming , Software Design and Operating System and Administration , getting my ass through 1 VB lab test and a Final Year Project presentation . Of course there were ups and downs in each subject , but fortunately I managed to do the best that I can - I'm satisfied with the effort that I delivered . So , right now I rest the case to Him .

As for my final year project presentation , I gotta say I was scared to death , I feel like my heart is about to explode . Truthfully , I was more than 100% sure about the android application that I want to develop , it's just that the examiners were so unpredictable and cocky . You can never tell what kind of question they will ask about your project , it can be anything . You just need to prepare yourself for the worst . But surprisingly , I'm saved , for now .

So , other presenters , which are also my classmates , they did their best too and I totally can't wait to see their finished applications . Like what Miss Erlida said , these android applications that we will develop starting from the upcoming semester are like our first babies . Well , maybe these applications are far from perfect but at least we develop it all by ourselves which definitely is not an easy task . So , I really hope that me and my classmates are going to get an A+ for this FYP subject . God's will .

Oh yeah , I arrived in Rawang last night and I feel so relieved that finally everything is done . All that I need to do now is to just submit the project documentation . Oh and not to forget to study my ass off for the final examinations . Well , my paper starts on the 1st of March . So , I still have the time to study everything .

I really missed my family , and I'm glad that I'm home . Indeed , there's no place like home .

#nowplaying Ailee - Heaven

2012-02-19T12:36:00.002+08:00

Went to SDAR yesterday . It was a lot of fun . Ahha .

2012-02-16T12:28:00.001+08:00

My projects are all over the place . It's just only the matter of time where I can settle things down , my projects , and start to give my full commitment and focus on my Final Year Project I . I even get goosebumps whenever I heard the word "FYP" mentioned by anybody . Unfortunately , the presentation for my FYP , in short , is on the 23rd of February which is next week . Yes , I'm doomed . But surprisingly I'm the last person in the list to be judged by the honorable judges whom are the experts in this Software and Apps field .

The truth is , I don't have a single clue about this project I'm working on . I'm totally at lost . But worry not , the general idea of this major project is kept safe and sound and I'm 100% pretty sure that I will explain to the judges with enthusiast so that they are convinced and hopefully I will get an A+ for the project . God's will .

Oh yeah , and I'm the 2nd prize winner of Malaysia's Next Top Female Blogger 2012 . Thank you so much , Sandra . I'm honored :O

2012-02-06T17:17:00.000+08:00

One day for sure . God's will ♥

2012-01-29T22:24:00.000+08:00

♥

2012-01-22T01:59:00.002+08:00

I'm flattered for I have listened to such simple but deep confessions . I know how nervous you were . I'm no good with words too . But frankly speaking , I'm looking forward on what will happen next . Yet again , for the nth times , my biggest concern for now is to be in a serious relationship . I'm not playing with people's feelings . Seriously , I don't . It's just that I afraid that I might break your heart in the mere future . I'm getting older day by day and of course that one special day for me to settle things down will come and meet me in the end . And at that time I want that special person who is destined by Allah for me to be mine and mine only . So , in the mean time , before I get to that stage , I need to find the right person , which I have no idea who he is . And if I knew , I would never be in this stage , searching .

Oh I wish that he's the one . It's not that I'm giving up , nor tired of searching , it's just that deep down I know he's the one . I just know . Yes , this is so cliche . I've been saying the same thing over and over again for the last 3 years now every time I found someone . But this time , I can feel it , I can sense it , it's totally a different feeling .

Dear God , even if he's not the one for me , I will pray night and day until that one special day when he can finally be mine and I'll be his . But for now , let's just keep things as it should be , casually . We plan our future accordingly , the best that we can and the rest is up to Him . Let Him decides as He knows the best for the two of us . And yes , I will follow you where ever you may go , even if it means LA :)

2012-01-21T11:16:00.000+08:00

Le me with my foreign girlfriends from Thailand ♥

2012-01-10T08:38:00.000+08:00

I think last night I slept with a smile on my face . Surrounded by a bunch of awesome people I'd die for . Dear roommate hindu , I'm glad that things are working out between us recently . I'm tremendously happy with our current relationship and I really hope that no matter what we can stay like this until the hereafter . God's will . Good luck with the Entrepreneur project . I'm your mashed potato no.1 fan !

2012-01-10T08:28:00.000+08:00

I managed to complete 5 assignments two days before and submitted them at the same time yesterday morning . That feeling when I was about to insert those ~~bloody~~ assignments is priceless . I just don't know how to express how excited I was . Serve you right for delaying your works , Tyra . I'm now relieved . So , right now I can give my full commitment on my major projects , oh and not to forget my final year project . I always wanted Pn Hanna to be my supervisor and Alhamdulillah Miss Erlida assigned me to her .

Good luck with your mid term today . I know you can do it . God's will , Balong :)

2012-01-08T22:28:00.002+08:00

On hiatus , from this hectic life , my hectic social life to be exact . I just need some time alone , to sort things out , retrace my previous mistakes and hoping for a great new start once again . And I realize that I made a mistake . I was being too careless and reckless at the same time . I need to be more careful from now on , not just for my own sake but others too . I'm healing , thank you dear great lord . Thank you once again , for giving me all the time that I need . I have my friends , family and also my religion to save and protect me from falling . Yes , I'm saved , for now .

2012-01-06T01:34:00.000+08:00

Everything is different now . No longer friends , no longer talking to each other , no more stupid jokes , just silence . I don't give a damn about it anyways . After all , I've been all by myself for the last 3 semesters . It's not like the end of the world for losing two persons in your life . Maybe , just maybe , God has someone better for me to befriends with . So , right now I just need to chill and adapt with the new awkward environment even though I dislike it . I don't know , maybe right now you are trying to spread some bad rumors about me behind my back , especially among your friends . And I was like , do I look like I give a single damn about it ? I'm enjoying my life over here . Hello ? Can't you see how happy I am without you guys ?

2012-01-05T02:59:00.000+08:00

Got drifted far away by emotions . Sorry for being weak , maybe I was born to be this weak , just maybe . Can't handle even the slightest problem . Who am I kidding ? Acting all tough on the outside but the truth is I'm not . That is the only way on how I overcome my insecurities . How can I make things work again . How . I'm at a dead end . I'm all messed up . To think straight is probably the hardest thing for me to do right now . How I wish that Mama is here and ask for her shoulder for me to cry on , and a warm hug adds-on . Letting it all out will probably make me feel a lot better and think straight again . I don't want to be here anymore . Take me far away from here for I don't have the strength left to face these challenges I'm dealing with . I'm tired . I just want to sleep , and never wake up .

2012-01-05T00:56:00.001+08:00

Now I know , which is which , which is your true friend and which is your foe . You did succeed in fooling others but unfortunately dear friend , you failed to fool me . And I thought you are my friend . Wait , you were one of my friends . Stop being selfish as you are getting older . You are a man now and I think you should know better - to start to think like a wise man instead of using others for your own good . I know you know that what I said was meant for you , not someone else , and to make things worse , you probably made something up to defend your defenseless self - how pathetic and pitiful . And because of your actions , my eyes are now wide open . Everything is starting to make sense . Truth be told . Remember this , what goes around comes back around . I may forgive but I can never forget every single thing that you did to me , read my lips , never . I know what you said about me behind my back , everything . And for your information , I was a fool back then , for defending someone that is selfish and only think about himself . Once again , pathetic and pitiful . You might think that you actually won this round . The truth is you didn't win , because you just lost a friend that always got your back when in need .

Now I know , trust no one , especially your friends . I never felt this disappointed before - the pain , bursting into tears for someone who doesn't deserve your precious tears . They don't deserve even one drop . Wandering to dear self , why did I waste my tears to someone that hurts me so much ?

I think you should know that from now on I will never look at you the same way like I always did .

2012-01-02T23:40:00.000+08:00

Take it easy as we know everything is happening too fast . I don't want to admit it now since I know it is too early and I'm pretty sure that you are thinking the same thing . I don't want to put our hopes to high as I'm afraid that what we hoped for all this time might crash into a thousand pieces in just a blink of an eye .

Truthfully , I like these feelings I'm having right now , warm and cozy , being loved by someone but not necessarily in a serious relationship . From being just an acquaintance , to someone that is important to me . I never expected that it will end up like this , that awkward moment I'd say . Every single day with you is like learning new things about yourself , your interests , family , likes and dislikes - getting to know you , it was fun .

I hope that we will constantly be in this state until God finally decided to take us to the next phase . God's will .

2011-12-31T16:29:00.003+08:00

It's New Year's eve .

Lots of things happened in 2011 . I can still remember it like it was yesterday . I bought my previous X5 right after my English class with Mr.Affendi . The class ended somewhere around 6 in the evening and my housemates had been waiting for me in the car . So we took off to Low Yatt right after the class and it was fun . Everyone was wearing baju kurung , frankly speaking , that was a last minute planning . Thanks dear housemates , for being such awesome friends .

And somewhere in March , we had a short semester for approximately 3 months . Everyday was like a new experience for me . I finally got a chance of talking to those who I'd never talked to and alhamdulillah we are now like brothers and sisters . You guys really made my day back then . And not to forget , Si Comel and Si Cantik , the both of you completed our tuesday's evening activity , of course I was talking about the night market .

Then it was my birthday . The surprise birthday party was wicked ! I totally enjoyed the cheesecake that you guys bought for me , the birthday wishes , that ugly birthday card that you guys made , but it's okay though because it's the content that matters :D

And then there was a bunch of boys problems , a couple of break ups here and there , met lots of new guys but end up getting goosebumps instead even though they didn't do anything wrong . Sorry , it was me so don't blame yourself . I have some issues even I didn't know .

Finally we will be going through another year . Maybe with new hopes , new dreams . I'm not going to lie by saying I didn't have any , it's just that I'm going to keep it to myself . Keep your chin up and don't look back .

2011-12-30T00:12:00.003+08:00

You can't simply erase your past pooft just like that , no , it doesn't work that way . In fact , to make you feel a lot better , nobody can erase their past . Why would anybody want to erase their past ? It's the past that made who you are today . Without them , you are just a living doll , no previous memories for you to remember , you will never know how hardships feel like , you will never know how happiness feel like , you know nothing . The past is like a big hot air balloon where you place and keep them nice and safe in one place , bring them along everywhere you wanted go and without them you are no longer a hot air balloon , you are just a person standing in a huge basket . Bare the heat yet at the same time enjoy the view from up there . God has made the past to be unerasable as He wanted you to improve yourself to be a better person everyday . Do not repeat the same mistake like you did in the past .

2011-12-29T23:18:00.000+08:00

Dear best friend ,

Admitting your mistakes is a hard thing to do . Do you agree ? So , with a heavy heart , a lot of thinking , right here and right now at this very moment I want to admit that I made a mistake . For I'm not supposed to say something harsh and mean like that as you are the person that I cherish the most , my best friend . I don't care if my fate says that I will stay single until the rest of my life , I don't care if I get hurt by a bunch of irresponsible person , I don't care if I get lonely because of that , I don't care if my life is falling apart , 'cuz deep down in my heart I know that you will always be there for me no matter where and when .

People change . So , what if you changed ? Then I should be happy for you . Your happiness is my happiness . I need to stop thinking about myself as a true friendship is not just about yourself . I noticed that now , and I'm terribly sorry for the late notice . If I can turn back time , I would like to erase all the stupid mistakes that I made and fill that empty spot with a new memory , joy and laughter , just between you and me . And for sure I would never repeat the same mistakes again . Yes , a true friendship quarrels here and there , but I think what I did is just too much and I realize that now .

If most of the time you were there when I need you the most , then I should do the same towards you . I would be honored to lend you this pair of ears to listen to every single word that you say , I would like these shoulders to be the place for you to cry on whenever you feel like crying . I would like to share everything together .

It's true when people say that you can live without a boyfriend but you can't live without your best friend //

2011-12-29T22:28:00.000+08:00

I'm not a Twilight fan , no wait , I always hated Twilight . The whole idea of the story is like a piece of err you know what . It's just about this random girl who is fortunate enough to get surrounded by two super hot err half-humans (?) Just get over it , okay Bell ? You had choose to spend the rest of your life with Edward , so why can't you just let Jacob go and to actually think about his happiness instead of yours if you truly love and cherish him as your closest friend . Stop hurting him , will you ? Fine , I just wanted to say that I love Christina Perri's song - A Thousand Years . There , I said it . Sheesh .

2011-12-25T16:01:00.000+08:00

Keep in mind that my attempt to ignore what the society talks about you even though the real truth is far from what they talked about , is such a very hard thing to accomplish . No matter how many times I convince myself not to listen to them , in the end I will unfortunately fell for every single word that came out of their mouth . What can I do ? Oh-so typical me , who can't resist myself .

Just let me do whatever I desire for I'm not the one to blame . Yes , I repeat , I'm not the one to blame . Why must you interfere with my personal affairs for I had never interfered with yours ? These kind of situations , they come and go . Please , move on as #idgaf about your life . So , why must you give a fuck about mine ? Get over it , okay ? Fine , I'm sorry for the harsh words . Please , I've moved on , why can't you ?

2011-12-22T18:14:00.000+08:00

Asyik makan je . Bila nak siap kerja pun tak tau lah *sigh

2011-12-22T16:28:00.000+08:00

Even if in the end we are not destined to be together , it's not like the end of the world . Maybe you are not the one for me , and same goes to you , maybe I'm not the one for you . I'm not gonna put my hopes too high as I'm only depending on God's choice , destiny . Enjoy youth while you still can and wait for the right person to come into your life . Who am I kidding . I'm just a kid , who doesn't even know what true love really is . She's right though , every single word that she said is so true . I'm still searching yet questioning about my feelings . What is that particular thing I'm missing right now , what is it .

I might end up not getting married and adopt a bunch of kids to be mine and give them all the love they need as a replacement for that missing spot , or in other words - husband's replacement . That is not a bad idea actually . lol .

2011-12-21T16:23:00.000+08:00

Read this , if you are willing to . I respect you , as much as I respect you like a big sister . It's just that , you are trying too hard as you feel like you are responsible for every bad deeds that we did , if there's any . Listen here , we are a bunch of good kids . Okay fine , I'm not that good compared to them but at least I know the limits , I never crossed the line , okay fine , maybe sometimes I did crossed the line , it's just that do not treat us like we do not know how to use our brains . Don't stalk us , don't stalk our wall , don't stalk our comments , don't stalk our blogs and last but not least , please I beg you don't mingle in our personal affairs . Respect our privacy as we are not a bunch of little kids anymore . Please .

2011-12-21T15:58:00.000+08:00

I missed my morning classes , by accident of course . Too bad , the both of us , we are not feeling very well . Sore throat and flu , what more could we possibly ask for #sarcastic . May God listens to my prayers and I really hope that you will get well soon . Even knight in shining armor got sick sometimes .

Your presence , made my day . When you're around , I feel secure . My heart pounding , whenever you look at me . I get all excited when I got a text from you .

2011-12-20T18:20:00.000+08:00

Maybe I'm not the one you're looking for . Maybe I'm not the one destined for you . Maybe I'm not bestowed with the responsibility to take good care of you . Maybe I'm not your soul mate . Maybe I'm just some random girl that God wishes you to meet before you finally can be together as one with the right person . I don't give a damn about all those crap . Right now , at this particular moment , I just want to make you feel happy , I want to see that smile on your face , that blush , whenever you see me . I want to be the person who you wish to see whenever you're having difficulties . I want to lend my ears whenever you feel like to nag because your class just got canceled at the very last minute . I want to feel like I'm actually are important to you , even though we might not be together in the near future . It's not about just go with the flow , it's about taking care of someone that is important to you . It's about sharing every single moment together . It's about be who you are with that person .

If one day , we are not destined to be together , I'm going to miss that morning wishes , I'm going to miss that Poke Challenge , I'm going to miss that red lil' birdie I gave you and the most important thing is that I'm certainly going to miss you . Let me be the one for you , even for a short moment .

2011-12-20T17:24:00.005+08:00

Happy 21st birthday , best friend .

You're my night and day . Even though sometimes we seem like falling apart , but I want you to know that I will always be right here for you whenever you need me . I'm sorry for I'm not the kind of best friend that you expected . I'm the meanest creature ever . Thanks for the awesome lunch , thanks for listening to every single words that came out of my mouth , thanks for the gift . I didn't give you any presents for I had accidently forgot about your birthday a few days before , but I had made a promise , between you and me that I'll give you something during our next meet .

That serious conversation we had , about life , for me , it's priceless . At least now you know how I see things , from my point of view . Even though people might think that I'm a bit selfish , but it's the fuckin' truth . If you actually see things from my perspective , you'd know what I'm actually talking about . Once again , thanks for acceptin' my point of view like a wise man without any huge arguments as you know how I actually am .

You're now a grown 21 years old man . About your family problems , please , think wisely as I know in the end you will make the wisest decision . We cannot undo things that had already happened in the past , all we need to do now is to start planning for the future as you are soon going to be the leader of the family . Think wise , dear friend . I know you did your very best . Just let me know when you need a shoulder to cry on .

2011-12-20T17:03:00.001+08:00

Without realizing , we actually do the same thing over and over again . Or in other words , a routine . Aren't you tired of doing the same routine every single day until the rest of your life ? Aren't you bored ?

I would like to be free . Spread my wings wide open and learn to do new things . I would like to be in Dubai today and be in Miami on the next . I would like to sit in the middle of a huge crowd and sing More Than Words today and eat a bowl of ramen on the next . I would like to write in mandarin today and be an Italian on the next . I would like to travel all over Rome today and learn how to make dumplings in China on the next .

Too bad I can't afford to accomplish such dreams as I'm attached to something that even I can't figure . The reality , I assume . Snap out of it . We are destined to do as what we are doing right now and the future . Let's just go with the flow . What if the flow is just something random and typical ?

It's up to us actually . If we set our mind such way , then that way it's going to be . Maybe we just need to spice things up . Make things less boring I'd say .

2011-12-20T08:56:00.000+08:00

Everything is starting to be back to normal again . College life and friends . Mid semester break is just around the corner , and I'm planning to go back home right after the very last class for the whole week and that is my Operating System and Administration class . So , I will safely arrive (hope so) approximately around 8.50 in the evening which just in time for me to sit back and relax and watch Arshad Zamir in action . Miss him so much . Can't wait to finally see him face-to-face again (eleh!)

2011-12-18T21:16:00.000+08:00

Had the worst sunday morning ever as my damaged tooth hits that very spot which gave me the most awful ache ever . I was like do not know how to react and make it feel better . I did tried everything , gargle some plain water that was mixed with a spoon of salt -- didn't work . Of course it didn't work , silly . That particular damaged tooth of your's is already at the last stage . There's nothing you can do to fix it , unless you make an appointment with a dentist and let him do what he does best . O' dear great lord , please do not make me lose another tooth :( I promise I will take good care of them .

2011-12-16T09:13:00.001+08:00

Everybody keeps asking me why I didn't enter and just try my luck to join the election for the new MPM . And I was like , me ? Why me ? To tell you the truth , deep down in this tiny little heart of mine , I really-really wanted to participate and make changes so that in the end I will feel so relieved since I know that at least I did something to help out those who in need , including my very own self of course . I want to serve people , make them happy . Make them feel like each and every single one of them are important and make them feel appreciated . To having that kind of feeling , after you finally did something good to other people is . . . I don't know , speechless . Only God knows how I feel at that particular moment .

It's not an easy task , I tell you . You must give your everything to satisfy us students as you are the student representative . Take us to a new level where both sides are happy with the decision that was made . No more unsatisfaction .

I just don't have the guts to take that responsibility as I'm afraid that I might not do the job right and serve people . That is not how a great leader should feel . Guess I'm not a leader material after all *sigh

Note : Dear Senah , I have faith in you . Do not stress out as I know you are not like that . The key is to just enjoy yourself out there and have fun . I got your back .

2011-12-15T19:34:00.000+08:00

Just ignore Awe's finger on the picture .

Anyways , been busy for the last two weeks . Need to help out with the events and programs conducted by my faculty . I do enjoyed dragging my ass into this kind of busy and hectic life as a student helping out with all the activities , but at the end of the day , my room is the only place that I wanted to be in .

As for tonight , I need to attend my Operating System and Administration class and then at 11 sharp , once again , I need to drag my lazy ass to Audi Pentadbiran to rehearse for tomorrow's Public Speaking Competition . Finally .

May Allah blesses our program . Amin //

2011-12-09T01:57:00.001+08:00

Everything is just falling apart - classes , final year project , upcoming programs , friends . But in the end , thanks to some people , they made me feel like , fyeah I can do this . When I'm all alone , in my dark little corner , I realize that after all this time , it was because of these people , I am here today . Thanks for all your supports , thanks for all the unforgettable moments we've been through together , thanks for all the opportunities , thanks for the new experiences , thanks for letting me be a part of something , thanks for making me feel like I'm in a family , thanks for all the laughter , thanks for teaching me all the new stuff that I need to know , thanks for everything . I will cherish you guys for eternity ♥

2011-12-08T02:05:00.000+08:00

Sorry to say , but the truth is #idgaf about Manis this coming friday .

2011-12-07T16:23:00.001+08:00

Got my second smart phone , which is Samsung Galaxy Ace . I'm extremely excited and thankful for this once in a life time opportunity that Allah gave to me . Wait , I don't think that this is an opportunity , I would like to interpret it as a test . Maybe , just maybe , God wanted to test whether I can manage my time well or not -- to actually win against the fun and exciting apps in my new Ace and got my ass drifted far away from all the given assignments and final year project . God , protect me //

As for tomorrow , I need to submit my final year project along with the 2 ideas , but still , I'm not so sure on what I wanted to do for my project . Since my dad is a hardcore cycle-er , he suggested me to do an app for professional athletes -- the app that will record everything such as the ability to save the data inserted by the end user , which is the athlete himself , to record anything about his kind of sport . Such as my dad , for example , today he cycled 20km within 2 hours and then he can easily insert the data into that app . So that he can view them later and check whether his time had improved or not . It's that easy . But I'm afraid that the panels would decline my ideas and I need to re-think for another idea , or even worst , they will pick one for me .

Stop nagging and let's just go with the flow , shall we ? :)

2011-12-06T00:53:00.001+08:00

They are the kind of friends who will laugh at every silly things that came out of your mouth . They are the kind of friends who will look out for you no matter what . They are the kind of friends that we can feel very comfortable with . They are the kind of friends who will always got your back . They are the kind of friends who always annoy you with their silly acts but you'll never get mad at them , instead you'll be laughing about it . They are the kind of friends who will do silly things with you even if it is in the middle of a huge crowd where everybody will give that awkward stare . They are the kind of friends where being our true self does not offend them . They are the kind of friends where you feel like it's your job to make them laugh all the time since their laughter makes you feel warm and cozy in the inside . They are the kind of friends who will always be themselves and they do not need to impress other people by doing what they're not because they know that they already have the greatest set of friends ever .

ps : So long and goodbye oh Nokia X-5 and say hello to Samsung Ace //

2011-12-04T01:17:00.001+08:00

Another semester , another brand new ear plug . Been to KLCC and I had so much fun . PC Fair is like heaven on earth , for a girl like me of course . Even though I can't find the exact ear plug that I always wanted , the one that is the same like my previous ear plug which was busted due to my clumsiness , I managed to find this Sonic Gear ear plug , and yes , I bought it . Yeay me .

Not to forget that very special event of the year , the end-year sales . I was like the hell ? 50% off , 30% discount , stuff like that can make me go crazy .

谢谢 , thank you oh Lu Bu :D

2011-12-03T00:03:00.000+08:00

Bawang ♥

2011-12-02T16:05:00.000+08:00

Had so much err fun(?) attending HIMSIS , which stands for , Himpunan Mahasiswa , I think . I was not aiming for parking slots , hijab nor classrooms . I was just aiming for the answers to my unanswered hostel fees question . Surprisingly , they managed to answer them well . So now I can demand to give back the remaining RM250.50 balance that they oh-so called accidently took from me by showing them the proper documentations so that there will be no mistake during the entire process of getting back me monayyyy .

See ? I'm not that mean :) I'm a nice female young adult after all . lol .

2011-12-01T00:45:00.000+08:00

For how long do I need to sacrifice my own happiness for the sake of others ?
For how long do I need to put this fake smile on my face ?
For how long do I need to embrace this pain in my chest ?
For how long do I need to face this ultimate annoyance ?
For how long do I need to keep it to myself ?
For how long do I need to be this way ?

2011-11-30T15:19:00.000+08:00

This is the quote we'll be using for this current semester , I guess .

No matter how bad things can be , we just need to face 'em , chins up and look forward . Everything happens for a reason . I'm tired of nagging about the same thing over and over again . So , instead of doing that , I think we should probably seek for the solutions .

College life is hard -- friends , classmates , finance , love life , family . Without 'em our lives would be boring , isn't it ?
So , let's appreciate 'em more , complain less .

2011-11-30T08:34:00.001+08:00

It's not fair for all of us -- it's not fair for you , it's not fair for her and certainly it's not fair for me . I think we need to stop all this right now even though my heart is against it . Easier said than done , but still , deep down I really- really wanted to be oh-so close to you . You make me feel warm and cozy in the inside . Yet , I'm still confuse . Sometimes you seemed like you're all over me , sometimes you don't . Turned on and off much ayy ? Let's just go with the flow , shall we ?

2011-11-29T23:01:00.000+08:00

Who am I kidding . He's taken , oh for the love of god . I need to think straight again . I'm not gonna steal someone else's boyfriend . That is just preposterous . Just imagine if the same thing happened to me . But but but , I can't help this feeling I'm having right now . Why can't I have him ? Naah , he didn't even show any interest on me . So why should I .

This feeling , it hurts .

2011-11-29T15:14:00.001+08:00

Been to Cameron yesterday , with my family . Had a splendid time even though it was raining . Tried to take shelter while capturing lots of pictures . Yeah , it was fun . Will upload 'em soon , I think . Really hope that he is doing fine , not arguing with anybody , eat well , take care of his mom the most . Well , everybody is praying for her .

I'll be going back to college later at 5 .
I miss him so bad it hurts//

2011-11-27T23:58:00.001+08:00

Counting days .

Day one , I'm starting to miss the sound of my message tone . Usually , you will start sending me a message as early as 6 in the morning and you never failed to wish me good night and pleasant dreams , oh wait , you did failed me once because you fell asleep . No worries , you are forgiven .

Whenever I listened to Tablo , I will automatically start to think about you . Bad is my current most favorite song , second after T-Ara - Cry Cry . I know that this kind of genre isn't your liking but truthfully I'm touched when you posted this song on your wall . I might sounded a bit like a total wacko , but it's the truth .

Ah , I'm off to bed . My eyes are killing me . Tomorrow is going to be a big day for us . Need to consume extra energy .

---

Another two weeks , minus one day to go //

2011-11-27T12:17:00.000+08:00

Congrats on your convocation , you guys :)

2011-11-27T11:23:00.001+08:00

Was sleeping silently while having a good and tight grip on my phone , hoping for a nice and simple nighty night text from him , like he usually does . I know that I'm not gonna get any from the first place since he told me that he will arrive somewhere around this morning . He reminded me to behave very well while he's not around , cheer up and wait for him patiently .

I wonder what I'm going to cook for him once he got back here . I wanted to make something fancy , but I'm not going to put my hopes too high otherwise my attempt on wanting to make the perfect dish shall perish poof~ just like that .

---

Happy new year to all muslims . Once again , God has granted us another 365 beautiful days . So , let us fill that every single valuable days with something beneficial and let's bring peace and prosperity amongst us . There is only one thing that I could ever wish for , and that is the world to be a better place . Amin //

2011-11-26T23:54:00.000+08:00

Our hearts are like a load full of puffy clouds .

There are times when we are happy ,
where the sky is blue and sunny ,
a wonderful day for everybody ,
joy and laughter for you and me .

There are also times when we are joyless and sad ,
those dark clouds are where people going to stare at ,
no matter how down and gloomy people felt ,
we know that shine and hope will rise again in the end .

2011-11-26T16:53:00.002+08:00

The awful truth , even Wafa knows how I actually am . I love challenges , especially when it comes to getting what I want , even if the probability of succeeding is extremely low . I don't mind that . Wafa said that I really-really enjoy the challenge of getting any kind of guy that I desire . But once he's mine , I'll leave him for no reason . I'm a mean bitch , and it's true , half of it .

Well , who doesn't want the guy that they like anyways ? I'm just trying to find 'the' guy . Y'know , to get there takes a lot of time . You need to actually meet a couple of guys before you can finally meet 'the' guy . It's not like , you meet him and bam ! he's 'the' guy . No , it doesn't work that way , for me of course .

To get there , you'll be facing a lot of hardships that you need to deal with all by yourself . As for me , I need to go through a couple of guys , most of them are nice and crazy -- ah brings back old memories , a lil' break ups here and there -- naah , it was nothing , being single for a couple of months -- I have a lot of friends , so I'm not that lonely I guess , eating tomatoes all by myself - something like that . And before you know it , you will meet the next guy , which can either be 'the' guy or the another Malaysia-Next-Top-Unlucky-Guy-That-Gonna-Be-Dumped-Sooner-Or-Later .

For me , relationship comes and goes . Only true love and friendship last forever //

2011-11-26T15:36:00.000+08:00

Everything will never be the same anymore . No more cute messages from him . No more being treated like a total princess . No more stalking . No more blushing all by myself like a buffoon . No more butterflies in my stomach . No more good night messages . No more 'Ah malasnya nak bergerak ==' . No more adorable smiley faces .

Ceh , kenapa emo sangat ni ? He will be back . I just need to wait patiently , I guess . It's not like I'm not gonna see him again .

Maybe , just maybe , he's different .

2011-11-24T01:50:00.003+08:00

Take me to where Peter Pan , Tinker Bell and Captain Hook live .
Where is it again ? Oh yeah , Neverland .
Where I can be the girl that refuses to grow up .
What is so good about growing up anyway ?
Everything is just as hard as hell .

Take me to a tiny little dwarf's house in the middle of an enchanted forest .
The place where everybody would love me for who I am .
The place where I feel appreciated for every single thing that I did .

Take me to a scary looking castle that is surrounded by dark thundery clouds .
Make me live with a huge , hairy and scary beast .
It doesn't matter because in the end ,
the one with hideous features always have the purest heart .

Force me to live in a house with my step mother and two other empty-headed step sisters .
I don't mind suffer now because I know that I have my very own Fairy GodMother ,
who will make me happy by just swinging her magic wound .

Lock me in a tower , all by myself .
The place where I can do whatever I want .
Without anybody nags , feel bad or offended by me .

2011-11-23T21:59:00.002+08:00

I stalked your wall , I stalked your blog .

I liked most of your , for me , adorable , statuses .

I text-ed you most of the time .

I smiled whenever I got a text from you .

I love the way how you treat me .

I just love everything when it comes to you .

My new love story ayy ?
Naah , he's taken by someone else .
And I'm totally okay with it , I guess .

2011-11-22T15:09:00.002+08:00

I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer . I'm not a boyfriend stealer .

2011-11-22T13:30:00.000+08:00

I'll be going back to Rawang this friday , right after my Operating System and Administration class . Once again , I'm the one and only female student . Sheet . Naah , I'm so used to it . That subject is as we all know about OS , and we are going to learn about Linux , Solaris and etc . Which I think is tremendously awesome 'cause I've been wanting to learn more about those things . Well , I did tried to download them before , but I didn't have all the time that I need , eleh .

Oh how I miss my family - Mama , Ayah , Amzar , Hariry . Not to forget our limitless internet connection and ------ Arshad Zamir ! lol . Oh Arshad Zamir , here I come !

2011-11-21T20:32:00.000+08:00

Being a minority isn't that bad after all . The interview went well , I guess . We nailed it , thanks to Tafwan (read as tough-one) , Kak Fafa and also Kak Shida . Well , the rest of us , we did our best too even though we didn't help as much . Our beloved dean was there also . Took a couple of pictures with him . Yeah I know , he's the coolest . Right now we are crossing our fingers hoping that everything will be fine . May the force be with us .

Well , today I had the most awesome lunch ever . Someone made me a plate of Spaghetti . A guy to be exact . I didn't know him , at all . And he was just randomly volunteered himself to make me some spaghetti , complete with smothered cheese on top and mushrooms . That was our first meet . lol . I can't believe that I actually ate something that I got from a total stranger . Oh Tuhan , lindungilah aku .

I enjoyed spending my day with Mimi , she is the best . That moment when we had a bowl of ABC in the middle of the afternoon is totally unforgettable and priceless . Let's do it again next time okay ?

2011-11-21T01:42:00.001+08:00

Which comes first , boyfriend or family . I don't think it's a tough one . No , I'm not referring to myself of course , not pointing to anyone either . Just saying something random . Oh , well .

I managed to complete some of my tasks . Well , I really hope that Farhana likes my flyer and bunting . It was my first attempt though . But all and all , I'm satisfied with the final result . Thanks for giving me the opportunity , I'm honored .

My classmates and I are going for an interview with MQA tomorrow , which scared the crap out of me . May the force be with us .

2011-11-20T16:55:00.000+08:00

Haishhh , Final Project I nak buat apa ni . Application untuk Android ? Sounds cool , doesn't it ? Yeah right . I'm stressing out . Need guidance , a.s.a.p !

2011-11-18T09:24:00.000+08:00

Fine . I'm sorry , my bad . I'm not being a good friend either since I didn't tell you how I feel about all this directly to you . Or maybe because I just don't have the guts to do so . I'm certainly not the kind of person that confront and talk about it face to face . No . So not my style . But when things really got worse , there's only one thing left to do and that is conference . A little heart to heart talk can go a long way . I'm afraid that maybe once we had this so-called conference , everything will change - the way how you feel about me and also the way how I feel about you . I don't want that kind of feelings to actually happen , not even in a million years . So , right now , my hands are tight . I'm just hoping that everything will be back to normal as soon as possible . May the force be with us .

2011-11-18T02:05:00.001+08:00

When you are busy telling the whole world about why you are being treated such ways , you should be busy thinking about what are the reasons for you to deserve to be treated like that instead . Everything happens for a reason . Can't you recall what you did to me the other day ? Did I do anything about it ? No , 'cause I know everybody need some spaces . But when this thing is actually happening to you , oh now you're making fuss about it and tell the whole world how bad I truly am . I can't believe that you actually did that to me . Does being myself offended you ? Why can't I be myself ? Do I need to please you all the time ? Post about how mad you are at someone , for me , is lame . How old are you ? 14 ? Just grow up , will you ?

Just accept the fact that life is unfair . You can't always get what you want . Please , stop nagging to me like it's a bad thing . I know you knew the answers . But you constantly seek for the answers that you already know from me . Why me ? Oh yeah , I tell you why , since I'm a good friend . That's why . When you bugged me with all your questions about why people keep hating you , I was like the hell ? We can never satisfy everybody . To do and accomplish such thing is friggin' impossible . Why can't you ask yourself back ? There's always a reason for everything that had happened . Maybe , there was something you did that annoys them ? Who knows . Sometimes , we didn't realize that our actions might annoy other people . So , to stop people from hating us , oh wait you , I think you should do a little research about yourself and dig out any possible outcomes that might be the reasons for their hatred . As simple as that .

2011-11-16T13:30:00.000+08:00

I'm sick , tired , I sneeze all the time and my nose is runny . Like what Mama always said , " Tenaga dah tak ada , tinggal semangat je ni . "

2011-11-15T20:00:00.000+08:00

The number of complaints about my college aren't reducing , at all . Everyday , there's always one or two posts about this . Saying that how they are tired of listening to the same excuses and feel like they have been fooled . Why can't we get what we deserve ? We paid sufficient amount , oh wait , I think we paid more than that . But what did we get in return ?

Let's start with transportation . Indeed there are a lot of college buses parked all over the college , doing nothing . Just sit there collecting dusts . I mean like , the buses are just for display . Correct me if I'm wrong . They are actually moving every friday and during the weekends . And to actually use the transportation given by our college takes ages . We need to wait for at least 1 hour for a bus to come and pick us up .

Next stop , the prices of every single lauk-pauk there is . Don't you think that the prices should be a lot cheaper since we are students ? It's not like we buy our foods outside of college or anything . Why can't they be a bit more considerate ? RM2.50 for a piece of chicken is just too much . RM3 for some lauk daging paprik is friggin' insane .

Don't get me started with our hostels . Fine , our hostels really feel like home . A total apartment , there's a kitchen , a dining area , a living room , awesome toilets , cozy rooms and etc but RM7.50 per day is bullshit , for a person that actually lives in a type B house of course . That amount is just for one bloody day . Let's multiply that amount to how many days you'll be spending until the end of the semester . Even your grandparents might get a heart attack once they saw the total amount .

We really need a change . We can't live like this any longer . May the force be with us .

2011-11-14T15:29:00.000+08:00

Ah , shoot . And I thought I was late for class , but I just found out that my morning class for every monday started at 8.30 am . Bummer . I missed my first quiz since I thought that the lecturer wasn't coming so I left early . *sigh

Remember when I suffered a lot trying to complete my flash project for Human Computer Interaction ? Well , I don't know how to say this but , flash and I , we are going to collaborate once again for this semester . Seriously , I'm doomed . But , come to think of it , I already have an idea of what I'm going to do for this semester flash project and I'm looking forward for it . Why can't we just study about Photoshop , Illustration , InDesign , Lightroom etc instead for Multimedia Technology ? urgh ~ I've had enough of flash for the whole semester . Study about them again just make me sick . Ah ! Be gone , negative thoughts ! Be gone ! Since Pn Shikin is the one that will teach us Multimedia Technology , I have good feelings that I would get an A+ for this subject . Muahahaha ! Yeah right .

2011-11-13T22:20:00.001+08:00

Great . Someone ( Paan Network ) text-ed me in the middle of the night saying that Arshad Zamir just got his ass into the elimination round . Oh for the love of God . First , I'm pissed 'cuz Mama didn't tell me anything about it . Well , at least she can text me just like what Paan did saying that Arshad Zamir is in trouble . Sheesh . And second , what's wrong with you , Zamir ? Was the challenge that hard for you ? Aww , it's okay . Like I said so many times before , there's always ups and downs in life . I didn't know what was the challenge about and how Zamir got his ass into trouble since I just got back to college . Well , I just hope for the best . Hoping that Zamir will never got eliminated . Ahh , that's not right . That is not how a true fan would say . Even if he got eliminated . We are still going to support you and be your fan . Good luck , Arshad Zamir . May the force be with you !

Note : I'm counting on you Paan for the result !

2011-11-13T21:56:00.000+08:00

Remember the other day when I talked about not wanting to have that awkward atmosphere circulating our oh-so called new home ? Well , it's actually happening . Oh why does the thing I wish would never happen will surely happen someday sooner or later ? Curses . Fine , it's not a big deal . The usual , i'm acting like it's the end of the world , my world actually , yada yada that kind of short moment in my life .

Apart from having the coolest new housemate ever , there's someone else that I haven't introduce yet . She's my other housemate . She's nice , sweet , polite and all but I think there's something about her that scared the crap out of me . She usually pops out of nowhere and naturally act like the thing that she just did is not weird . Well , news flash dearie , it IS weird .

Well , I have this thing about people that are being too nice . For me , too nice is just wrong . Okay fine , not wrong , but awkward . 'Cuz these kind of people , they tend to make me look worse . I was born bad , so whenever nice people treat me nicely , I will feel like a total crap . No , seriously . I feel like I'm the worst person ever . Okay fine , emo sangat dah ni .

Whatever it is , she's cool . Maybe someday I'll get used to it . Hope so . Aishh .

2011-11-13T13:28:00.000+08:00

(Source)

2011-11-13T11:01:00.007+08:00

I'm not questioning you or anything , but why him ? Why did you choose him ? I'm asking you in the nicest way that I could ever think of . Why him ? Why didn't you just choose someone else ? Why must you give such suffering for him to deal with ? It's not fair for him and me . I know he's been strong all these years but it is I who can't handle what he's been through . I'm not strong enough . I don't want to lose him . He promised me that he would never leave me . So please , don't take him away from me so that he can keep all his promises .

He doesn't deserve this . All that he ever wanted is just to live like a normal person . Why can't you just take all those sickness he's having away from him and give back all the happiness that he deserves after all these years . Please protect him dear lord . I would never ever cry for any guy before but he is my one and only exception .

He's been such a great son , an adorable nanny's little grandson , a loving big brother , an awesome friend , and for sure my everything . His full recovery is the only thing we could ask for . That is probably the strongest reason I could ever think of so that you would save him from all his misery .

Sincerely ,

me .

2011-11-12T00:55:00.000+08:00

Haxim is doing just fine , hopefully . Just please don't crack , yet . This is not the right time for you to crack . You are almost there . Another one more step until you finally reach the top . I know you've been waiting for this time to come . Just because you are facing major problems , it doesn't mean that you can't make it to the end . You just need to be strong just for a little longer . Okay ?

Listen here . Apalah sangat subject err network tu . I know you're a smart-ass kid . You will make it through . Just have faith in yourself . Whenever you feel like breaking down , just pray to God and ask if He can help you out okay . He listens to all of us . Well , He did granted my wishes yesterday :)

2011-11-11T18:46:00.000+08:00

It's true , Kpop world is like one big happy family . Wafa and I were having breakfast this morning . Wafa had a bowl of laksa while I was having a plate of rice and lauk Masak Asam Ikan Tenggiri for myself . Well , that is probably not what you have in mind for 'breakfast' . Anyhow , one of our new housemates just woke up and she said that I tied my hair like Sandara Park from Fire music video . Wafa and I was like ehhh ? How does she knows about Sandara Park ? I asked her , kau layan Kpop ? she nodded . And then the three of us were like warghhhhh ! *sambil buat gaya tangan gedik* In just a split second , we were like best friends . Everything was starting to burst out one by one . Kau suka Infinite ? Wargghh ! Myung Soo aku punya ! Aku pulak suka leader dia ! Kau suka Boyfriend ? Warghhh ! Kwang Min aku punya ! Something like that . Kpopers are awesome . I love you guys :)

2011-11-11T18:23:00.000+08:00

Everything went well yesterday , no major problems I'd say . God finally hears my prayer . I managed to complete everything in just 45 minutes . Well , let's just minus 15 minutes for the free lecture given by my mentor . Okay I admit that my result kinda went down the hill . But still , I'm proud with my results . It's not like I'm failing or anything . Well , I know she was just doing her job as a mentor , 'mentoring' us . Everything is getting harder , I'm trying to do my best here . I know I played a lot , and I admit that . But I know my limits , I know when to goof around and when to actually be serious and study my ass off . I will try harder this time okay . Just don't push me around .

2011-11-10T10:31:00.000+08:00

A 1 minute teaser video , I can accept . But 9 minutes ? That is just so fucking ridiculous . I never liked LED Apple before , but after I watched their super long new single teaser , I noticed that they are actually not that bad . Not that bad ? Yeah right , they are fucking gorgeous ! T-Ara also came up with a brand new single . I watched their Cry Cry mv . I feel like watching a movie since the duration of the video is 15 minutes . The hell ? That is not what we call a music video . That my dear , is a short movie . lol . Haih , penat lah macam ni kalau mv dah makin panjang -.-

I'm freaking out here . I don't know why I feel nervous and anxious at the same time . Well , I really really hope that everything will go smoothly . I'm tired of facing the same ol' problems over and over again . Just gimme a break this time okay ? Pretty please with lotsa cherry on the top ? :3

2011-11-10T00:38:00.000+08:00

Ah , this is unacceptable . Tonight is probably gonna be the last night for me to see Arshad Zamir in action . Farewell , love .

So , thanks to Syaa Rsd for the tag . At least I have something to write about before I'll be going back to college tomorrow . Here goes !

The Rules .

1. You must post these rules.
2. Each person must post 11 things about themselves in their journal.
3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post. And create 11 new questions for the people you tagged to answer.
4. You have to choose 11 people to tag and link them on the post.
5. Go to their page and tell them you have tagged HIM/HER.
6. No tag back!
7. No stuff in the tagging section about 'YOU ARE TAGGED IF YOU ARE READING THIS' YOU LEGITIMATELY (a.k.a REALLY, TRUST, WILL ALL HONESTLY) have tagged 11 people.

----

11 things about me .

I'm sorry if what I wrote here sounds a bit cliche -.- pfft .

1 . Gap tooth . Being a gap-toothed is my biggest insecurities , that's why I never showed my teeth when taking pictures . But I'm glad that after all these years , I never been teased for being a gap-toothed , I wonder why . But I'm cool with it anyways . It's not like I'm not pretty or anything . Okay , angkat bakul sendiri . lol .

2 . Cooking skills . The truth is I excel in cooking . I actually have the skill to make great dishes . I'm gifted :) Even my granny said so . The problem is that I'm such a lazy ass . Especially when my mom is around 'cause I know that she will do all the cooking while I will be assigned to do all the cleaning . Maybe when the time has come , it will be my turn to take over the kitchen . Wahaha .

3 . Nude . Hey , it's not nude as in naked or anything . I'm currently a fan of nude colors . Anything nude will automatically grabbed my attention . Nude colors are actually trending . Well , that is also one of the reason but I was attracted to nude colors because they make me look sophisticated , chic , natural and modern . Besides , they matched to my skin tone :D

4 . Art . I was born with art genes running through my veins . All of my family members are art lover except for Amzar though . Don't mind him , he's just plain weird . lol . So , besides my gadgets and food , I can't live without paper . I just need to scribble anything that I could think of . I need to let it all out .

5 . Kpop die-hard-fan . I'm totally all about kpop . They are irresistible and also is a kind of addiction . Kpop is addictive just like drugs . Once you started to like one Kpop song , you just can't get enough . Until you reach to this one point where you want to listen and watch every Kpop mv that there is . Am I crazy or what . Tell me about it -.-

6 . Model material . lol ! Being sarcastic of course . I'm actually very thin ~~and hot~~ . fullstop -.-

7 . Competitive . I'm the kind of person who can't accept defeat . I will do anything to win . There's one thing I hate the most in this entire world , and that is being a loser . If movie directors offer me to be in their movies , they would probably ask me to be the bad guy . lol .

8 . Long arms . Compared to other normal human beings , my arm's length are quite long which makes me an abnormal . Mama selalu panggil saya Orang Utan . Fuuuu ~

9 . Tomatoes . At first , I was forced to drink a whole glass of Tomato Juice every single day . As time passes by , I'm starting to get used to it . And now I can eat whole just like eating an apple . FTW !

10 . I don't have a boyfriend -.-

11 . High expectations and perfectionist . I always put high expectations on other people . If we are in a group project , I want the result or output to be perfect and the best there is . Sometimes , being a perfectionist is hard 'cause people tend to get annoyed . Nnah , I'm used to it anyways .

----

The questions that Syaa forced me to answer .

1. Who's me in your mind? You are a cool blogger , a fashionista , a friend and also my little sis . Yelah , aku mana ada adik perempuan !
2. Do you think I'm weird? Weird in a good way ? (Jawapan selamat)
3. What things made you fucked up? It can be anything .
4. What kind of man would you like to be with? Tall and super cool macam Arshad Zamir , eventhough Arshad Zamir isn't that tall tapi tak apa lah -.-
5. What actually blogging means to you? Blogging is my life !
6. Is my blog one of your favourite? Fuck yeah :)
7. Tell me why's that? (Based on question no. 6 if you blurred, ty) I love the way how you express your thoughts and feelings . How you face your difficulties and other stuff . You remind me of myself . Eceh !
8. What surprise would you like to someone make it happen? Dah nama pun surprise , so anything will do :)
9. Have you ever heart broken? Err . A couple of times , but most of the time it was I who broke people's heart . I'm a big fat meanie .
10. What is your current favourite song and why? Hm , I'd say Tablo - Bad . There's no particular reason .
11. Do you like me? Hahaha. Do I need to answer this ? -.-

----

I'm not going to tag anyone , I'm too lazy to do so . Sorry . haha .

2011-11-09T13:31:00.003+08:00

Well , I have stop using DreamScene since the software makes my lappy hotter than the usual . So , I'm back on using Rainmeter . I downloaded the newest version which is Rainmeter 2.1 . Better than the previous version , but it doesn't include with any themes at all . So , we need to download Enigma manually . It doesn't matter anyways since I'm not using Enigma . I combined all the cool skins that I downloaded and create a brand new theme for myself . And here is the final result . A total satisfaction , for a computer geek like me of course .

2011-11-09T11:28:00.002+08:00

I had the craziest dream last night . I was strolling in a mall , can't recall which mall was it . Suddenly , I met Jeong Min and I freeze for a sec . I was like , what on earth is Jeong Min doing here in Malaysia ? So , I immediately search for a pen and a piece of paper , hoping to get an autograph from him . Too bad when he saw me , he quickly trying to get away and run off as fast as he can . Curses . I was just trying to get an autograph for god's sake . Uh .

I was so frustrated after what had happened , so I decided to browse some stuff . Not long after that , Kwang Min and Dong Hyun passed right in front of my eyes . So , once again , I grabbed my phone , a pen and a piece of paper , quickly rushed to them so they can't run away like Jeong Min . lol . Surprisingly , they didn't . Kwang Min even greeted me with a huge smile on his face . Finally , I got what I wanted and they even took a couple of pictures with me . And it gets weirder when Kwang Min and I exchanged phone numbers . Ottoke !

So , both Kwang Min and I started to see each other - spending time together like boyfriends and girlfriends , running away from his fans while holding hands , laughed about the littlest things . That was some dream huh . I think I smiled during my entire sleep . lol ! But what does this dream actually means ? Does it means that I'm actually are a fan of Kwang Min , not Young Min ? Is that it ? I'm confused . What if it is true , what is going to happen to Young Min ? I don't want to leave him just like that . It's not fair , just because I'm having a dream about Kwang Min , it doesn't mean that I'm a fan of him . Is it ?

2011-11-08T22:37:00.003+08:00

It's not the end of the of the world , yet . Since I always nag about how desperate I am wanting to live in a brand new environment . Now after God granted what I wished for , I feel like a total crap and hope that I didn't make that wish in the first place . I need to be nice and try to be as polite as I can . Well I certainly need to make a good first impression since I'll be spending the rest of the semester with the same households and I don't want to have that awkward environment circulating our so-called new home . I'm pretty sure that it will take a lot of time to actually befriends with them . Get to know each other , their personalities , their interests - stuff like that .

It has been almost two years since I only have Wafa as my one and only roommate . But now , it's different . I don't have any idea who is the other person that might be our new roommate . Might be a junior , or even a senior . Nnah , I'm cool with both . In fact , I'm pretty excited about it . Making new friends is one of the best experience ever . Which reminds me how I met Akma , Mona , Tqa , Weef and Wanie .

Eventually , I'm not going back to college today since there are some minor difficulties which cannot be avoided . So , we have to postpone everything until the unsolved matter is solved . What I'm trying to say is I'll be back on thursday . I'm looking forward for everything . Friends , classes , final project - eleh .

Oh snap , I think I just cracked my new laptop cooler -.-

2011-11-07T23:52:00.002+08:00

True love is hard to find but once you find one , it's difficult to leave and impossible to forget . If you already found yours , hold it tight and don't ever let go because you might regret it for the rest of your life . Don't ever let the littlest things get in your way because it will be the wall of barrier that going to find a way to separate the both of you for good . If you think that your relationship is a total disaster , think again , there are many people out there having a lot more problems than you are . While some still trying to pick up the pace finding his or her true love .

2011-11-07T23:02:00.001+08:00

My eid celebration was fun , even though there were only Wan , Mak Ngah , Asha , Acik , Cik Izan , Aiman , Mak Teh , Pak Teh , Danny , Dania and a bucket full of meat . Mak Ngah made some Kuah Kacang , Nasi Impit and Laksa , fulfilling Mama's request . Mama said that Mak Ngah made the best Kuah Kacang ever and that is a #fact . Whereas Acik , Wan and Mama made Rendang . Oh and we prepared all those mouth-watering delicacies one day before eid so that it will turn out better in the next day where all the ingredients are nicely blend to one another .

And the next day , we ate our heart out . Everything was delish ! Mak Ngah went out to buy a nice cake for Aiman . He turned 1 year old this year and he is so freakishly adorable . Oh and he is a gap tooth , just like me ! :B

2011-11-06T00:14:00.002+08:00

I'm a rebel . I want to make changes . Not just for myself , I want to do this for others , who suffers a lot . I want to make history and inspire people to express themselves , let it out , of course in a good way . To tell you the truth , I enjoyed spending my time talking about current issues with my dad . He helped me see things from another perspective , made me realize which is right and which is wrong .

It is not easy to start a revolution , especially if that revolutionist is a girl like me . I'm a nobody , and as a 'nobody' , to voice out my opinions are just impossible . Sometimes I wish that it would be a lot easier if I was born a man . I have the fighting spirit , I'm not afraid to face the possible outcomes and certainly I have the courage . But to gather at least 5000+ students is not an easy task .

Really , by having the thought of it makes me want to fight even harder . I want to do something in my life . Something that I can be proud off . Something that I can tell to my children in the future .

2011-11-04T20:17:00.002+08:00

#nowplaying Brown Eyed Girls | Cleansing Cream

It hurts, it hurts - my closed heart - a lot, a lot
Oh my honey, honey baby - what do I do?

Like always , I watched the teaser yesterday and the full video was released today . So does their first live performance for this song on Music Bank . I totally adore Ga In's husky voice and the dark story line .

2011-11-04T19:02:00.000+08:00

This is one awesome shit *jaw-dropped*

2011-11-03T19:32:00.006+08:00

Long white sheet covers ,

there he was , lying there ,

in the middle of the living room ,

yassin was played continuously in the background ,

it was 4.23 in the morning ,

some were reciting ,

some just can't hold it any longer ,

and a few just arrived ,

straight away headed to where he lies ,

carefully open that white sheet ,

and tears start to fall .

There I was ,

standing in the middle of the room ,

watched every single layer of the white sheets ,

cover his entire body ,

mak teh burst into tears ,

everybody starts to stand in line ,

performing that very special prayer for the dead .

Everybody was waiting outside of the house ,

reciting the very last Al-Fatihah before he finally leaves his house forever .

Rest in peace , Pak Teh .

2011-11-03T00:24:00.000+08:00

Save the best for last .

I may be not going to find that special someone right now , but I truly believe that God has already arranged and figured out who is that perfect and suitable guy to fill this emptiness , the guy that loves to grab my hand really tight and will never let go , the guy that is willingly drives me to the clinic even when I'm having the slightest fever , the guy that will make the cutest pout whenever I ask him to go to the nearest grocery store to buy some carrots , the guy that loves to pat my big head whenever I achieve something and says , ' Good girl ' - Certainly my kind of guy . I'm not going to just sit around doing nothing and let God do all the work , no . Miracles don't work that way . Besides , I'm not hoping for a miracle to happen to me . But what can I do besides waiting for him to appear right in front of me ? Stop asking too much and let's just hope for the best . Oh please accidentally ran into me and ask for my number a.s.a.p , whoever you are .

2011-11-02T20:05:00.001+08:00

I can't believe that my college life has almost come to an end . Everything will be a lot tougher and certainly ridiculous than before . Everything as in friendship , financial and also education . I need to list out my aims (again) for this upcoming semester . Hoping that so-called list will help me to get through another semester with less disaster . My biggest weakness has always been my time management . And because of that , I will undergo a major mental breakdown . This is the part where my silence is starting to become a big issue amongst my housemates . I just can't help it . Yet again , of course I don't want to repeat the same mistake again . Since all of the subjects that I'll be taking this semester are so fucking hard and totally hardcore , I have decided to stay focus and keep my aim straight , hopefully .

To tell you the truth , I'm scared to death right now and I don't want my parents to know about it . Make them worry is the last thing I want to do , wait , that's not right , is the thing that I will never do . They don't deserve it . Sometimes I wonder , is this what I really want . Earlier today , Ayah called me and Araf to help him out . We are going to do a commercial for government , something about agriculture (I'm not a government person , oh for the love of god) And the other day , Farhana asked me whether I can design a flyer for a program somewhere around 25th of November if I'm not mistaken . Two jobs within a month , not bad for a girl that actually has no basic about designing . I'm not that good , but I will give my best shot .

Being an advertising producer has always been my dream job . I want to be like Ayah . I think he has the coolest job ever . But Mama disapprove . She said that it's not nice for a muslim girl like me to work in such a social environment . It's okay Ma , I understand . So , here I am right now , majoring in IT . Sometimes I feel like it's a bless , but most of the time I feel like it's a curse *sigh* There's no turning back .

2011-11-02T01:35:00.002+08:00

Don't wait for Prince Charming, because he's too lazy to leave his castle . Wait for your knight in shining armor who will fight for you ♥ -Logan Lerman

Someone asked me why I don't wanna be in a close relationship with any guy . I never thought about it before . Maybe because I don't like the feeling that I'm attached to someone . I love and appreciate my freedom , y'know . So , I just need some time to cherish myself more . I'm open to be friends with anybody . But when it comes to more than just being friends , uh I don't know . I admit that I'm a bit choosy , but my criteria levels are not that high . I'm not hoping for the guy to look exactly like Logan Lerman here , no , but still , I need him to look like the face that can put a smile upon this fugly face of mine . A face that can make my heart melt lagi bagus . lol jokes .

2011-11-01T11:48:00.002+08:00

I accidently read someone's status the other day , a guy to be exact , don't wanna mention his name here . He said that he's so annoyed with us girls fan-girling over kpop hunkies and cuties . And I was like , you mad ? lol . First of all , what is your problem ? Jealous much , maybe ? Is it because you're not as good looking as them ? You are not able to dance amazingly yet still look awesome and cool just like them , is that it ? Or is it because your hair is just fucking ugly which leads you to hate them even more 'cuz everybody knows that korean guys have the best hair EVER ? Is that it ? Screw you then .

Oh what's that ? They are all fake ? Yeah , we know that . So ? What are you trying to say here ? Still don't geddit . Okay , listen up . We know that koreans just can't resist from doing plastic surgeries . So what ? There's no harm in admiring those beauties eventhough they are all fake . It's not like we are going to go through a major breakdown 'cuz we just find out that they are not original . Durh ~ We knew it all along . So , back off .

You know , even if we are drooling over some kpop hunkies , in the end it is you who we will choose as our boyfriend and such . The percentage of having a kpop hunky as your boyfriend is zero , yet we are still cool with it . Like I said , we knew it all along . So , there's no point of trying to trash-talk them by saying they dance like a bunch of sissies , they can't sing , they are plastic . No , you will never going to succeed in breaking us apart . In fact , that will make us even stronger to face a loser like you .

Besides , this is just some random interest . Don't tell me that you never listened to any kpop songs , 'cuz that is bullshit . At least you would've listen to SNSD - Gee , but you just don't wanna admit . Ah these kind of guys are just so persistent .

2011-11-01T10:54:00.001+08:00

Yeay for my new and super cool bokeh effect video background wallpaper . hehe . Gambar bokeh bulat2 tu sebenarnya bergerak all over my desktop , tapi aku tak tau macam mana nak tunjuk effect gerak2 tu . So , aku print screen je lah . I found this awesome desktop customization software last night . Studied and understand the software , download the installer and applied it to my desktop . You can choose any videos that you want and set it as your background . As simple as that . But the format of the video must be either .mpg or .wmv ;)

Oh ya , nama software tu DreamScene :D

2011-10-31T15:01:00.002+08:00

This is my first stop motion video ! haha .

2011-10-30T16:35:00.002+08:00

This is the reason for my fever today . Semalam the whole day aku and Mama decided nak buang apa yang tak dipakai . Sweep-ed , mopped and dusted every single nooks and crannies that we can find . And aku sangat sensitive dengan dust and all . So , my nose is a bit runny since yesterday up until this very second . urgh , the suffering -.- Since school kids nowadays memang confirm dapat text book for free , so Mama nak buang my old text books yang kononnya disimpan untuk kegunaan her little heroes in the future . No , Ma . Araf is 19 , Amzar is 16 and Hariry is 11 years old . Memang takkan guna pun buku2 text lama tu . Besides , dah berapa tahun dah mesti keluar new edition punya since zaman sekolah aku . Anyhow , we managed to get rid of that old study desk di bilik budak2 ni . Tak payah nak study desk sangatlah . Desk tu memang tempat simpan buku je . So , to clear things up , we took all the unwanted text books , used note books and other junks ke cina surat khabar lama tu . And hasilnya dapat 11 ringgit . lol . Punya lah banyak bertimbun dapat banyak tu je . Dah nama pun 1kg 30sen je -.- Whatever . Oh , and kononnya study desk tu pun dah dihumban keluar . And now takda lah aku seram sangat nak masuk bilik budak2 tu . haha .

And for my room , I rearrange all the furniture - my bed , side table , used-to-be-desktop-table , and my cupboard . My room looks awesome ! I totally fell in love with my new room now . haih . Rasa macam tak nak balik kolej pulak bila bilik dah se'awesome macam ni . pftt .

2011-10-30T01:00:00.001+08:00

Why is he being so sexy ? I'm melting , literally . He is featuring in Kim Wan Sun's comeback song which is Be Quiet . Certainly , I'm not a big fan of the song . I only downloaded the mv just to watch and be amazed by my Junnie oppa's cool swag . His bad boy attitude . His new hair style . His huge glasses . His rap part - He is so mine . Oh and do you know that Kim Wan Sun is 42 years old ? :D

2011-10-29T23:43:00.001+08:00

Like what my dad said , Negeri Sembilan is unbeatable . They managed to catch up after Terengganu got 1 goal . Me and my mom , we were super crazy back then . Mama was preparing the dough for tomorrow's breakfast . We are going to make roti canai :D and she was bashing the dough really hard sambil cakap Ambik kau ! , repeatedly dengan penuh emosi . haha . Mama sangat taksub . And because of this match , me and my colleagues had a little misunderstanding . lol . Hampir nak gaduh , wait , bukan hampir tapi memang dah gaduh pun . You're right , aku pun taksub macam Mama . lol . The situation was tense , but still under control , kot . Nevermind , there's always next year . Besides , this is just a game . I screamed so loud until I can't even feel my throat -.- All and all , cheer up Terengganu-ians ! You guys did well too ! Btw , I can see that Agong is having a really rough night :P

ps : sempat tengok Arshad Zamir kat Master Chef :D Mia.Azlin sila jangan jeles . tee hee .

2011-10-29T00:07:00.000+08:00

It is sad when you are almost at the top and then you found out that one of your closest friend is having a really hard time with life . We are like one huge family , every ups and downs , we are going to face 'em all together no matter how hard it is . At this particular moment , I'm afraid that I might lose a friend like you . Yeah we just knew each other for the last 2 years now but without your presence I will definitely feel like I'm missing something , someone to be exact . And that someone is you .

Dear you , I know how it feels like to fail at something . The humiliation , the pressure from your surroundings , you feel like you are worthless good for nothing and when you need a shoulder to cry on , you feel like there is not even a single person that have the guts to be there for you . To tell you the truth , I'm not an expert in persuading and giving a big boost up to other people . I'm not blessed with the ability to inspire people . Certainly no . But like what I said , I know how it feels like .

In life , there is always ups and downs . One day you will be like the happiest girl alive , and the next day you'd probably be in the worst condition that you'd never think of . Maybe this is the time where you are going to face some difficulties . You just need to keep your chin up . God is always and forever will be by your side . Same goes to your parents and also us , your friends . You just need to figure something out . Just try it again , can you ? There's no harm in trying again . Can you imagine if every single human in this world didn't try again after they failed during their first attempt ? No changes going to take place and there will be no revolution .

For the love of God , please I beg you , reconsider what you said earlier . It will be such a waste . After all this time , all your hard work did paid off , but there are only some minor problems . Don't let your weaknesses take over you . Overcome those weaknesses and I'm sure you will be even stronger than ever . Please , hear me out . I love you with all my heart even though I'm not that nice on the outside but only God knows how I truly am on the inside :)

Day 10 : A k-pop dance you’d like to learn

2011-10-28T12:28:00.001+08:00

Day 10 : A k-pop dance you’d like to learn

T-Ara | Roly Poly (read as Loly Poly . haha)

The dance move is just too adorable I can't resist :3

2011-10-28T11:45:00.002+08:00

Hoyeahh . Another week , another new group debuted . Guys , meet MyName . I know , like there's no other name left to name this group . Dah buntu sangat barangkali . Ah no worries , you guys got the look . So , the name doesn't concern me at all . haha . Watched their teaser yesterday and the full mv was realeased this morning . I was fan-girling over the leader , the maknae and the one with red hair . The song which is Messageeee ~ (Message) , sounds okay , nice beat , cool chorus and I totally dig the part from 3:28 , ada potensi nak jadi text tone aku :D

Oh ya , leader dia yang good looking tu sangat sesuai untuk dijadikan sebagai hero kedua . Every k-drama mesti nak ada 2 hero kan ? The 2nd hero usually the one that will never harm the heroin , totally rich and a swagger , got that cool face expression like all the time , super tall , long legs and the leader totally has what it takes untuk jadi hero kedua . Wah !

2011-10-27T23:39:00.000+08:00

My parents were fasting earlier today . That was why Mama masak lauk Gulai Ikan Salai which everyone knows how I always hated lauk tu . I have some sort of issue with lauk gulai . I don't really like the taste though . Rendang I can accept , but lauk lain yang berasaskan Santan is a big no-no for me . Maybe because dulu Mama acapkali masak lauk berunsurkan santan which is the reason why I hate gulai . Selalu sangat masak so rasa muak . Maybe sooner or later tekak aku dapat terima balik lauk2 santan ni . Fingers crossed !

Petang pulak buat pizza . Pakai tray oven yang besar tu . Biasalah , orang dalam rumah ni ada 6 , so kena lah buat banyak . Nak buat regular size macam menyusahkan plak kena take turn tunggu yang tu masak and then baru masukkan the next tray and all . Sounds like a lot of work . So , baik buat sekali harung je . haha .

Me and my dad watched Modern Marvels : Retro Tech . We both have a lot in common , in a weird kind of way of course . Aku and Ayah prefer cerita macam Modern Marvels , Pawn Stars and etc . Whereas yang lain cukup tak suka cerita2 macam tu -.- And today's Modern Marvels is about gadget dulu2 . I mean like , film camera , old school punya palaroid , typewriter , cellphones and other gadgets . I was amazed to actually watched the revolutions of those gadgets . And Ayah started to tell stories from his teenage years di mana dia sempat merasa gadget2 old school yang super cool like piring hitam and etc . I was like untungnya and I said kalau takde yang dulu , takde lah sekarang . I mean , eventhough gadget dulu2 not that efficient like nowdays , at least us as the inventors can think of something out of it and improve the gadget itself . Technology grows and I'm gonna be one of those inventors :D

Day 9 : Your favorite k-pop performance

2011-10-27T11:42:00.000+08:00

Day 9 : Your favorite k-pop performance

Beast | Yayaya

I think this is the cutest KPop performance ever :D My Beast boys looked so adorable , especially Yoseobie and my dearest Junnie oppa :') Jun Hyung still look super cool with his face expressions and all ^^

Day 8 : A k-pop song you know all the words to

2011-10-27T02:35:00.000+08:00

Day 8 : A k-pop song you know all the words to

G.Na feat. Jun Hyung | I'll Back Off So You Can Live Better

I seriously know all the words in this song , not excluding but INCLUDING Jun Hyung's rap part okayyy haha :D This song is just so beautiful and sad which makes me can't resist from memorize it all :)

2011-10-27T01:16:00.001+08:00

Haxim said that I'm not a nice person . We argued a little while ago and he stated that I often play with other person's heart . The truth is , he's right . I couldn't agree more . This matter only happens when it comes to boys . Here is the full truth , I'm not playing with anybody's heart or feelings . We are just friends , not more than that . And I do admit that whenever I feel bored with someone , I can easily leave him behind without thinking the consequences . Haxim always remind me that I need to clean up my own mess . But in the end , it was him who cleans up the mess that I made .

I'm the kind of person that do whatever I want without thinking how others feel about it . And I'm sorry for behaving such way . Haxim also said that if I keep behaving this way , no guy would ever come near me . And I said I'm cool with that 'cuz right now at this particular moment , the person that can make me happy is my own self . People don't understand me . So , why should I bother of what people might think and say about me ? #idgaf . And here comes the best part , Haxim said he sympathizes me for being a loser . Once again , #idgaf . I don't care . If being a loser can make me happy , so be it . I'm cool with that .

And the 'war' ended with his last text saying that he already watched SNSD - The Boys mv . Always ease off a war with kpop latest topic . Okay , I'm gonna give it a try . Stop being such a big-fat-meanie like all the time and stop being such a big-head girl . Oh and no more playing with other people (guys) feelings . Note that . I hereby seeking forgiveness from all the guys that I used to offend which none of them gonna read this crap -.-

So . . . I decided to change my eyeliner routine . Before this I only wear eyeliners but now I want to spice it up a little bit by adding a touch of dark brown eyeshadow on top of my crease and waterline which you will not notice since I want eyes to look natural and alive :D

2011-10-26T15:47:00.000+08:00

Prepared some stuff for my new room . Penebat hati yang lara , kononnya . Pfftt . Since my new room is located so far away from the outside world , I have decided to decorate as if it feels like home . Cewah .

So after this , there will be no more CSI Miami at 8.45 am , no more Master Chef Malaysia from Saturday to Wednesday , no more Cinta Elysa <-- the hell ? okay , aku tengok , so what ? aku pun tak percaya . oh wait , aku tengok sebab Botak . okay , proceed , no more River Monsters every weekdays at 5pm , no more Tahajjud Cinta , ehhh dah habis dah 2 minggu lepas , no more Nenek Kebayan , haha ! I can't believe that I actually watch the series , no more Mythbusters , no more Music Bank :( no more wifi , no more I-can-download-full-HD-kpop-music-video , no more baking with Mama dearest and certainly no more tv . Urgh ~ Hell no . Whatever . Lambat lagi pun , hari ni baru berapa hari bulan . hehe .

Raya haji nanti semua orang balik kampung . Me and my other cousins are planning to do a little hiking . Nak panjat Gunung Datuk , Negeri Sembilan . Aaaa ~ Can't wait !

Day 7 : A K-Pop song that makes you cry

2011-10-26T00:09:00.000+08:00

Day 7 : A K-Pop song that makes you cry

Brave Brothers & Jay Park | I Want To Cry

The title says it all . Geddit ? lol . This song is actually one of my all time favorite kpop song ever . Even Amma love this song , and she's not even a kpop fan . haha . The sad lyrics , flawless rap part by Jay Park , the music itself , they just blend together like McFlurry Oreo .

2011-10-25T14:51:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was , urgh , I don't know from where to begin . I was stressing over this fucked up reservation system . At first I admit that this new system is freakishly genius where we don't need to go through all the troublesome during registration day . Even by just having the thought of it can make me sick . So , here I am , no need to worry about any of it anymore . But new problems are starting to pop out of nowhere like huge zits ! I can't register my course , which I need to contact BKPM to solve that matter and due to my ignorance about the reservation system , me and Wafa ter'end up reserved a room in Parcel 6 . I'm doomed -.- Okay , it's not that bad actually . Me and Wafa got the same room , that is a good sign isn't it ? And the room that we reserved is room no.3 which the room that I always wanted . So yeah , my college life is not ruined or anything . Just being the normal and usual overreacting me , that's all . haha .

20 credit hour untuk sem ni . Not bad , not bad . I can STILL handle it , hopefully . Semester ni semua subject IT , so kelas-kelas aku semua dalam faculty aku je . Oh I'm starting to feel the pressure which certainly dapat dari Final Project I which I'll be taking this semester . Macam tak percaya je dah kena amik Final Project 1 -.- I'm so dead meat .